Follow me here:
Or not. Whatevs.
Follow me here:
Or not. Whatevs.
I don’t know if I’m still even in anybody’s feed readers, but I’m back. Sort of. Let me explain…
I have been thinking about blogging again lately because life is in a good place. I actually have more mental space and time than I’ve had in a long while. However…
There were two primary reasons I stopped blogging, other than being so busy:
1) If I didn’t post in awhile, I felt guilt and pressure.
2) If people commented here but I didn’t comment on their blog, I felt guilt and pressure.
I think we can all agree that guilt and pressure are things no one needs more of in their life.
Last night I went through some of the archives, and whoa!! Unhappy relationships and toxic job? No wonder I was sick all the time! I want to put this blog to bed because I want to put those chapters of my life to bed. I left off right before the universe brought me the best of the best. I am absolutely positivley in love with my best friend. (Really! You’ve heard me mention P here before? After 7 years of friendship, we FINALLY figured out we should be together.) The least romantic person you’ve ever met has walked into her very own Fairy Tale.
And my job is amazing. We (my team) went through some very, very hard times the second part of last year. But my boss advocated for us when somebody needed to know we needed help, and we actually GOT IT. I am so hopeful for the future right now. More than I have been in a very long time.
All that said, with this blog going out I am starting a new direction. This year has been all about balance for me, and instead of the day to day journaling, I want to share my thoughts and feelings and articles and communicate and connect about how to live a more balanced life. While exercise is quickly becoming a big part of that, this isn’t going to be a weight loss blog. Because first of all, I’m not losing any weight right now. And second of all, I want it to be a truly integrated blog that incorporates mind, body, and spirit topics.
More to come. I promise once I build it, I will post the link here. And I won’t be posting every day–but that is totally okay, because it’s not going to be a chronicle anyway. And I will keep reading your blogs (as I have been all this time), I just might not comment all the time. And that is totally okay too.
Well, I imagine it’s not going to come as any surprise whatsoever that I’m pretty much done with the blog. It’s not with any kind of bad feelings, it’s just sort of the natural progression of things. I honestly don’t have the time to invest any more. I use Facebook for networking to some degree for work, so that’s where I post my little life blurbs and keep up with others. I do still read all my bloggy buddies, I just can’t be counted on to comment.
Things are fine. The job still rocks. I’m still single. I’ve had some stuff going on that I can’t talk about here or on FB or really anywhere but with my close friends and in a more private journal. It’s nothing serious, just things that cause me mild headaches.
So, farewell friends, and thanks for all the fun. I don’t know if I’ll ever be back to blogging, but if so I’ll check in with my loyal readers. And if you want to be my Facebook friend, even if we don’t know each other in “real” life, just drop me a comment saying so and I’ll email you. I know that’s not the electronic venue of choice for everyone, but it is for me, so it’s the best way to keep up with the haps. Otherwise, I’ll be lurking and saying hi now and then.
You guys, so much has been going on, and everytime I sit down to write a post I get three sentences in and have to save it as a draft. It’s all GOOD stuff, too. I shall try to summarize, in chronological order.
-I went out last Friday with my friend J. and her friend K. who is moving here from Ohio, where I am from.
-K. convinced me to apply to be a Global Habitat for Humanity volunteer. (this will come back shortly)
-I met a Hungarian waiter named Zsolt. I may or may not have given him my number.
-I exchanged far too many messages with an old friend of mine that I can’t be in the same room with because it will inevitably lead to romantic overtures. Luckily, I flaked out on him around 10pm. But I’m keeping his number handy anyway.
-I saw Super 8, loved it.
-I went to a summerfest in one of the nearby neighborhoods with my girlfriends.
-I took an incredibly long walk.
-I filled out the Global Habitat for Humanity application Monday.
-I went back to art class that night and had a blast.
-I got sick on Wednesday, but not because of previous illnessess–my mom thinks it was food poisoning.
-I’ve filled 11 jobs to date in my new job. Considering we run 15-20 jobs at a time per Recruiter, that’s like half my jobs in the short time I’ve been here.
-I went to a networking event alone last night and I was scared out of my mind. I can talk to anyone in a room just about any time, but for some reason schmoozefests scare the beejesus out of me. But I was proud of myself for making me walk in the door and actually STAY for a reasonable period of time.
-I met people, chatted, had fun, got a lead on a job for a friend, and gave my number to an IP lawyer.
-Which is weird, because the other day 2 friends and I were talking about the right guy for me and I said I could never date a lawyer, unless he was a geeky lawyer, like an IP or patent lawyer. Voila.
-Today I have an interview with Global Habitat for Humanity for a spot on the… wait for it…
in late September. :)
I will try to get caught up on reading and such this weekend. I also owe some of you emails since I taunted you so badly with hints about where I work. Will get them to you, promise!
At the beginning of this year, I told the universe I wanted a new job and/or true love. True love would be my preference, but if I could have both that would be pretty great too. Instead, the universe gave me just a new job. A great job. A job that is by no means perfect, but wow. I love what I do, I love the company I work for, and I love my boss. LOVE her. I’m on track to fill 5 jobs this month and earlier today she called just to tell me how proud she is of what I’ve accomplished so far in my time here.
I wish I could give you guys the name of the company I work for, because when I sit and think about it, I work for a BIG company. One where you would know the name if I did say it, and every time I tell someone where I work, they immediately know where I am talking about. One that is considered the global leader in what we do.
So to be so successful so quickly in a big name company…that is frankly pretty awesome.
I keep thinking I’ll wake up and it won’t all be real. As I mentioned before, it is REALLY WEIRD to go to work happy and excited and not tied up in knots.
I suppose there are still about 6 months left in the year for the universe to give me true love as well. But honestly, I think if the universe has decided I’m just going to be successful in a great job with an amazing company and a great boss, that’s really quite cool and I have no business complaining.
*Thanks for the well wishes. Sorry to keep whining about my health…it’s just so frustrating. I feel really good today and art class was fun last night (of course) so I am going to try to squeeze a walk or some strength in tonight. Figure I might as well do it on the days I feel good.
I had hoped that I would be blogging last night or this morning with a really happy and awesome recap of my weekend. And the weekend was by no means bad, I need to keep perspective. But it did not go as I had hoped and it is hard not to be disappointed.
Things started off well enough on Friday. H. took the day off of work and I had already planned off that afternoon, so we met downtown and used my membership at the Art Institute. We wandered around and had coffee on the patio in the special roped off “members only” section. Oooh la la! We did some shopping downtown afterwards and I bought a new flat iron since mine had pooped out during the week (a CHI Ultra on sale for an insane price at Ulta, PLUS 20% coupon!! My whole order was less than the regular CHI flat iron at full price).
It was fun, and I took it easy in the evening as I often do on Friday anyway.
Saturday morning we went out for brunch for H.’s birthday and I started feeling a little wonky. I thought I was just tired from the week so I took a little nap after brunch and before my haircut at 2pm. I was totally out of it during my haircut, but it’s not like I had to do much more than sit there. We were supposed to go to a literary fest in the evening, but it started storming really badly which was kind of a relief to me because I was feeling really tired still. I ended up taking a 3 hour nap.
Sunday I had grandiose plans to have the day to myself, get things cleaned up, run errands and I planned to take a yoga class at 4pm to mark my official return to being able to exercise again. I so desperately want to get back to exercising more than just a walk here and there. I hate complaining here about my body because I feel like so many women bloggers do that (not that I condemn the behavior itself or saying what you want to say on your own blog, I just find it terribly depressing that we are all constantly doing this to ourselves) but I feel chubbier and out of shape than ever and hate what I see in the mirror these days. I went to Target to buy some shorts for the summer and it only fed that horrible feeling. (I actually intended to buy some other things at Target too, just making a point)
I was only about 20 minutes into Target when I knew I needed to get home ASAP. I felt weak and terrible and like I very well might throw up right there on the floor. I hurried home in the I-Go car, toddled home carefully from the parking lot and collapsed into bed. I slept for another three hours, woke up, took and 600 mg Advil and an anti-nausea pill and finally began to feel better. I took the trash out, sorted the laundry and watched a whole bunch of episodes of The Office via Netflix streaming.
H. and I have an art class tonight and I am mostly feeling better aside from continuing to need pain medication (I have stabby pain radiating down the side of my face on the shingles path, which is probably causing the nausea, or maybe something else is, who knows). In the end I’m glad I made the choice to rest and not push myself yesterday because I absolutely did not want to flake on H., and also I paid money for the class so that would suck.
I just want to feel normal again. :( Wah.
On the flip side, work is going GREAT. I am so happy and so proud of what I am accomplishing. I love my boss and she is so respectful and amazing. Sure, I have days when people irritate me like any job, but overall I just keep feeling like I need to be pinched. I was telling my mom yesterday it is really weird to go to work and not feel totally in knots. Or even to think about work and sort of smile. Wow.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday weekend! My folks were in town, and we had a nice time. We spent a LOT of time shopping (partly because yesterday was storms, storms and more storms in the area) and I can happily say I stayed on my feet for almost two straight days without wanting to die (I had a killer headache on the shingles side on Saturday, but Ibuprofen and an early bed helped).
Now that I am feeling better…well, I am a little freaked out.
I know this will pass, but for two months I’ve avoided social obligations, exercise obligations, and anything above and beyond getting my work done on a day to day basis. I had the excuse of not feeling well to avoid setting any kind of goals or overcomitting myself socially or otherwise. It’s a little bit messed up that I found that respite a bit of a relief.
Don’t get me wrong, I am HAPPY to be feeling better and really looking forward to exercising again*. But there’s this (internal) pressure now that I am feeling better and now that summer is here that I need to be a little socialite and get out there and be happy instead of sometimes just tucking into myself and playing Yahtzee on the iPad.
Balance in all things, right? Wish me luck. On the bright side, summer always makes me crave fruit and fresh veggies like crazy.
*Speaking of, any suggestions for ramping up the exercise after an extended illness? I am so afraid of pushing myself too hard (or not enough).