Event Planner Fantastico

While the HR Exec Assistant was out on leave, I took the reins on planning our company’s participation in the JP Morgan Chase Corporate Challenge.  Of all the responsibilities I picked up, this was my LEAST favorite.  I hate event planning.  I am not a natural detail person, and while I can be very detailed, I have to work hard at it.  I’m much more of a “big picture” kinda girl.  Like, I can envision what I want the event to look like, but making all the pieces happen just strikes me as an enormous pain.  I also don’t like being responsible for company money, people enjoying themselves (because I take it too personally when people don’t enjoy themselves), and negotiation. 
The pieces that needed to come together included the registration tracking, memos to staff, tee shirt design and order, and an after party venue + food and drink.  Oh  yeah, and munchies for our tent beforehand.  The only thing I felt good about was the fact that no one really knows who I am because that’s usually not my realm of responsibility, so I wouldn’t have to take too much of the bitching.
Well, I must say, all the pieces are in place and I’m incredibly proud of the work I did.  In fact, moreso because I groused and complained but in the end I think it’s going to be a really nice event…and an event I came in significantly under budget for without having to cut too much in the way of niceties (our tee shirt is simpler–people can deal).   I got some major props this week from the higher ups and some of my teammates.  (we’ll see how the actual day goes–someone did jokingly ask today if I’ve talked to anyone about the weather)
There’s a lesson here.  I still don’t like event planning, but apparently I can pull it off pretty well.
Which brings me back to yesterday’s post.  I wanted to clarify a little bit better why I want to go back to running, even though I am hating it right now.  I don’t HATE the act of running.   Actually, it can feel pretty good, and it’s an incredibly convenient way to get your cardio done.  It doesn’t hurt me physically, althought it’s not easy for me physically either.   The thing is, last year I was in love with running and did two 5K’s and felt like aces.  So my major question to myself is what has changed.  Last year I did not care that I was such a slow poke because I was just so happy that I could run.  I was happy that I could even FINISH a 5K, time be damned.  And my running buddy ran at about the same pace as me so I felt like I had a pacer I could run alongside, too.  That was neat.
Now I am too wrapped up in the fact so many people run faster than me…or longer, or better, or more regularly.  I’m impressed that my cousin can just wake up one day and decide to run a marathon but furious that it is so easy for him (he was a serious track star in high school).  Once upon a time, just doing it was enough.  Right now, I cannot get my head out of feeling embarrassed and I want to push through this until I get to the other side and am just happy again to be running at all.  All I see when I run is people who pass me.  I actually think that when I run on my treadmill, my neighbor downstairs can probably tell how slow I am and is wondering why I bother (I’m not kidding–that’s what I mean, these feelings are getting out of control) I know there are people running slower or not even running at all, but I have blinders to that right now.   I imagine people are laughing at how ridiculous I look puttering along, even though (as my mom likes to point out) people are probably not paying any attention to me at all.  And my running buddy decided running wasn’t for her…which makes me either debate whether I should even be running myself, or just feel sad because the one person I actually felt comfortable running with isn’t running anymore.
I joked on Kyra’s blog about starting a running club for slowpokes called The Chicago Tortoises and I’m seriously starting to think I should do it…for me, and for anyone else who feels self conscious and just needs to know someone else feels the same way.   The hell with Fleet Feet.  We need a “Feet Stuck In Molasses” group!

100 Push Ups and Bellyaching

Last night was a small fail at the gym.  I did not sleep well Monday partly due to the weather, partly due to adjusting to sleeping in the city after being in the country for 3 days, and partly just…because I am me.  Why sleep when you can stay up and think about work?? (blargh)  So I wasn’t feeling so hot by the time I left work but decided I was still going to  push myself to hit the gym, no way around it.  Uh…yeah, not such a good idea.  I got through one set of weights and very seriously felt like I was going to throw up.  The feeling continued until I took 2 anti-nausea pills + 1 motion sickness pill and passed out on E.’s couch.  Hm.  But hey, at least I got to see E.!
TodayI am feeling better rested and am going to see if I feel up to yoga after LOST tonight. 
I’ve been sort of obsessing over my psychological block against running (which you’ve read here, and I’ve blogged about in postings that never saw the light of day).  There is no reason I HAVE to run, but a lot of bloggers I read do it with some measure of success and…well, frankly I realize I am avoiding it because I don’t like doing things I’m not good at.  Then I remembered how many times my trainer has asked me what the use is in doing something you are already good at…I mean really, is that some major accomplishment? 
I’ve broken this out into two parts.  One is to get my fitness confidence back, and the other is to make myself run.  And yes, I should probably do a race at some point but not until I can stop hating running because I am bad at it.  Standing around bellyaching about what a bad runner I am is not going to make me better.   Only practicing will make me better.
But first…back to that confidence thing.  I tossed this around before and I never really pursued it–the 100 pushup challenge.  I CAN do pushups pretty well, so yes, I am falling into the trap of what is easy for me, but again, this is about getting my confidence up.  Through the month of May I am going to do the 100 pushup challenge in addition to my standard 3x weights, 2x cardio routine.  And then in June I am going to start running again like I’m training for a 5K.  And then…well, we’ll see where things go from there.  I’ll either find a race or…hm.  I haven’t gotten that far yet.  Feel less crappy about running–that’s the main goal.   Oh, and Kim and I are doing the Self Workout In the Park on May 16th!! This isn’t part of any other goal, but something I’ve wanted to do the past few years and am totally excited about!
Last but not least, I was going to talk about the swine flu but even I am tired of hearing about it.  I guarantee if it spreads here (it’s already hit some schools here I’ve heard from a friend in the public schools–though it is debatable whether it is confirmed or not) I WILL get it.  But I probably won’t die.  It might just destroy my plans to do the 100 pushup challenge.  Or the Self Workout in the Park.  Nah, I’ll just go and lay on the grass if it hits me then!

Am I Okay?

People keep asking me if I am okay.  The VP of HR has now asked me this 3 times.  I wonder where this is coming from?
The only thing I can figure (and the only thing that has been specifically mentioned to me) is that I am asserting myself more.  Personally, I think this is a good thing and maybe it only strikes people as odd because it is not what people are used to? I dunno, with all the chaos at work I just felt like that was what needed to happen.  Somebody had to take charge and get things done.  And nobody criticized me for it–in fact, the VP said she liked that aspect of my personality.  It’s sort of bled into my personal life as well, but I think I am still pretty diplomatic (another aspect of my personality that’s been remarked on a lot recently) so it’s not like I’m being difficult.
Hm.
I know for a fact my time feels more and more valuable and so I am kind of keeping my blog reading/email communication to a minimum.  (I still play on Facebook a lot because it’s fun)  I’m becoming a bit more self-focused because it was long overdue and I don’t usually do it well.  Something kind of clicked recently and I felt more and more like I needed to take care of myself first.
Hm.
For people who know me well, do I seem okay to you?

This and That

The weekend was, as mentioned, wonderful.  Perfect sunny weather.  Lots of good food and relaxation and family time.  LOTS of relaxation.  Oh boy, the relaxation was so wonderful.  I got Spore for the DS from my folks so between that and my beloved Animal Crossing, I could just take a month off to play video games.  Tee hee.
Holy crap, though…there were sure a lot of bees around my parents’ place!  I was all for moving to the country until I realized how bad the bees were.  They replaced unrestrained dogs as my running nuisance du jour.
I’m still behind on e-mails…probably moreso than before.  May have to do a “mark all unread” on Google reader.  This weekend, I just felt like there were much more important things going on than anything that came through the computer.  Wait, that doesn’t sound right.  What I mean is that if it was an emergency, someone would have called me.  Otherwise it can be digested and responded to  this week.
Speaking of digesting…my tummy has settled down this morning.  It was definitely the flight–my plane was very “wobbly” for the first leg of the trip.   I assume the cruddy Chicago weather that caused my flight to be delayed in the first place was on its way east and that’s what caused it. 
Also related to digestion, I braved the scale this morning and really had no more weight gain than I usually do after a weekend.  So no worries there.
Yesterday I went for a run and had a really basic revelation that is probably going to make many of you smack your own foreheads.  My running is still slow, crappy, and embarrassing (I had trouble catching my breath and other things*) but because no one was really out and about I didn’t care.  I realized if I could get over the embarrassment and get back to really running with some regularity, I’d probably get better at it.  (that’s where you smack your forehead at this very basic and logical conclusion)  But how to get past the embarrassment?  There are a LOT more people running here than where my parents live.
Well, I have to adjust my schedule for a couple weeks anyway because I am working on a job that is open in Hawaii, and the time difference there is 5 hours.  Which means I cannot even START calling people until 2pm.  So I talked to the VP and we agreed I could adjust my hours with a later start time and a later end time.  I’m thinking, like, 10-7.  Which is really the shift of my dreams, to be perfectly honest.  Some days it is going to suck getting home from work that late, but at least for the interim, I could then run in the morning when it is cool and pleasant and less populated without having to drag my butt out of bed and try to run at 6am.  Get my running groove** back on, and there I go!  So we’ll see how this works out.  With the way work has been the past few months, my schedule seems to be in a perpetual state of flux, so this might not last more than 2 weeks.  Or I’ll end up back on the 4 day a week shift.  Or working 45 hours a week.***  It could go either way. :p
I also got a yoga DVD I really wanted for my birthday (my old Bryan Kest routine that I only had on a disintegrating VHS tape) and I’ve noticed between that and the Self routine from last month that I’ve been using, I’m really starting to feel some changes in my back and my abdomen.  That’s cool, and for now, I think I am going to keep on this plan.

*I have always had a problem when I run, whether I’m running fast or slow, of having my throat get all phlegmy and having to spit fairly regularly while I run.  I know–so gross, sorry.  I’ve asked other runners about this and the closest answer I got was that *maybe* I needed more fluids.  I don’t carry water while I run because I really don’t run far enough to warrant the extra equipment.  Anyone else experience this? (doubt it, I’ve yet to find anyone who does…)

**I also am not going to get faster since I am not entirely focusing on running–I’m back to my old fitness routine of 3 days of weights and 2 days of cardio.  That’s really not enough days of running to be in any sort of real training routine.  Which is fine, right now that’s not my focus.  But maybe down the road when I want to race again, it will.

***The HR Exec Assistant is back from leave so in theory I should be back to normal or potentially low hours again, but there is still a lot of transition and cleanup going on so I doubt any major changes will happen this week.

hi

I made it home.  I had a really nice trip.  I did not want to come back.
I am on the computer for the first time since Thursday.
I am terrified to go near the scale, even though I did have a nice run in the country this morning.
I am a little sick to my stomach from the rough flight but mostly fine.
I will write more maybe tomorrow, I need to order Peapod for delivery tomorrow and then go back to resting on the bed (and mayyybe playing too much Animal Crossing…again…whoops).

Animal Crossing Friends?

There was much more I wanted to write today, but have no time, as I continue cleaning up other people’s messes at work (a report that should have taken 1 hour has turned into a 4 hour project because the data was so messed up) and hurry to get ready for my trip.
But briefly–anyone play Animal Crossing Wild World for the DS?  I finally figured out last night how to get it set up to my wireless (yay!!) and want friends to play with!!! Leave me a comment (if, like me, you are not ashamed to admit you play what is more or less a kid’s game) and we can swap friend codes.  And I can play with you while I’m waiting at the airport!  Tee hee.

Hm.

Everything I try to type comes out as one gigantic whinefest. I already deleted an entry from yesterday and another one from today that at least never hit anyone’s Google Reader.  I’m not in a TERRIBLE mood, and actually doing better than last week…I just feel like everyone and everything is a bit off.  A bit overworked.  A bit overtired.  More than a bit stressed.  I think I need a dose of Tori’s puppy.
This weekend I am heading back to Ohio to relax, visit the fam and maybe/hopefully play with the kidlets in the sunshine.  My mind is pretty much already there.  
The only other thing I really have to report is that I have not heard on the job, and it’s been almost a week, and so I have a hunch that I am not going to move on to next steps.  It’s disappointing, but okay.  Thinking about making time to squeeze an interview into my day AND solve the suit dilemma* was starting to make me panic a little.  I had a good, open conversation with the VP today and…well, it was just good.  I feel like I have a better handle on where my job and the company at large is headed.  But mostly I am just too busy to worry more than two days in front of me.  It’s still going to be feast around here for a bit longer, anyway. 

*I have a suit that needed to be tailored…I bought it before this job and never had to interview because I had worked for the HR Director before.  So it needs to be hemmed at least, and at this point, possibly taken in as well.  I need to try it on and if it’s not reasonably alter-able, then I need a new suit.  Which of course is a joy to shop for (sarcasm), but I really need to get on that so I am not in panic mode if I find myself landing a face to face interview!

Yep, That’s More Like It

While my birthday proper may not have been great (I worked overtime on my freakin’ birthday…NOT COOL), the celebration yesterday made up for it.  I had dinner with a small group of friends at a very old-school Chicago kind of restaurant…ate too much pizza, drank a Mai Tai, and had a few too many bites of the mudslide sundae E. ordered for us all to share.   It was just a really fun, mellow evening of eating and talking and laughing and celebrating.  Yay.  Then E. and I took a walk together on the beach, just the two of us, which was incredibly sweet and romantic.
Also, on Saturday morning H. and I had a really nice breakfast together outside in the sunshine (hard to believe it was so sunny  just yesterday…wah) at Julius Meinl, which duly impressed me with its extensive breakfast and lunch menu.  And some dang good coffee, yo.
Today was poopy and rainy–though E. and I did make it to the gym.  I napped, caught up on this past week’s LOST, and played a few too many hours of Animal Crossing: Wild World, which I received from Kim! (I also received a very generous gift certificate from E. for a 70-minute massage, and an equally generous gift certificate from H. and S. for Blick art supply store–and a cute little cartoon drawing of me from S.’s boyfriend [hee])
All of that’s to say I didn’t have a very productive day, and because of some e-mail glitches I had last week I’m so behind on e-mails now that it depresses me to even look at my inbox.   So…again, apologies if you wrote me recently and I haven’t written back…it’s part technical difficulties and part pure off-the-grid relaxation.
And with that, I think I am going to hit an early bedtime and prepare myself to fight a variety of work demons tomorrow….

Crappy Birthday!

Okay, not really.  It’s not been crappy–the sun is shining, and it’s a beautiful spring day.  I got my little chocolate donuts to share with the department and that was lovely.  One of my co-workers took me out for lunch!  Then I left my purse at the restaurant!   Then I went back to get it and it was still under my chair! (phew)
But…it seems like I should feel…different, or happier today.  You know how everyone asks you on your birthday how your day is going?  Or says, “did you have a nice birthday??”  I’m not having a bad birthday,  I’ m just as frazzled as ever and feeling stretched too thin per usual.  I even had a couple of nice invitations to go out tonight and I’m like…nah, no thanks.  I just want to go to the gym, then go home and relax and try to get enough sleep.  Gah.
My interview yesterday went well, I think.  It is definitely a position I am interested in, moreso than I initially thought.  You know how it is with interviews–the interviewer wrapped things up exactly the way I do, with no clear indication one way or another.  So within the next couple days emails will go out to candidates they want to move into face to face interviews.  Nothing yet.  We shall see.  It’s weird, I wasn’t really looking and now that I’ve tasted the chance to go elsewhere…I really, really, really want this to work out.  But, I guess if nothing else it got my head on straight in terms of what I want!
Please send birthday wishes to pretty Tori, who shares today’s birthday celebration!  Tori sent me a nummy box of cookies and got me a magazine subscription as well!  Ms. Sizzle, whose birthday is Saturday, sent me my favorite bubble bath!  And  P . got me a really nice sketchbook.   Thanks you guys!!  My friends RAWK, and I can’t wait to spend Saturday night with my nearest and dearest!

The Perks of Weight Training

I got into another discussion yesterday with someone who was opposed to weight training because it would “make them look fatter.” Argh.
So I wanted to share this article about why weight training is a boon for losing weight & keeping it off.
Which is not to say I criticize anyone who opts not to do weights, your workout style is your prerogative.   I just can’t take another woman telling me that weight training will make me/her fat!