Out With The Old, In With The New

Hi! So, um…2 hours kinda turned into 2 days.  Sorry about that.  Like a lot of folks it seems, I’ve been having trouble having the energy, time, and focus to write.  I think in addition to holiday fatigue, a lot of us have election year fatigue, bailout fatigue, and economic crisis fatigue. 
But on a brighter note:

(That’s me decorating Christmas cookies with my cousin’s daughter–note the eating of the mountain of sprinkles.  My cookie is the pretty little tree in the middle of the tray.)
Christmas was really nice this year.  I’m not going to write you a novel on everything I did and everything I received…there was a LOT.  Some of my favorites included The Hungry Girl Cookbook, David Sedaris’s When You Are Engulfed in Flames, The Everything Scrabble Book, beautiful aquamarine and silver earrings from my mom, soft & fuzzy pajamas & fleece & fleece hoodie also from mom, a gorgeous silver flower necklace from E., a sushi kit from E. which includes chopsticks & a rolling mat, a bobbing Japanese beckoning cat from E. which is hard to explain but pink and adorable aaaand…probably other things which I am surely forgetting.
I also got a scarf from my aunt.  It is angora, wool, and cashmere.  Guess which of those fabrics I am allergic to? If you said c., all of the above, you win!  What do you win?  Well, the scarf if you want it.  Seriously, I am having a hard time unloading it.  If I had more energy and hostessing prowess I would host a regifting party.
Speaking of parties, E. and I have our plans wrapped up tight for New Year’s.  We are going to a foo-foo party at a wine cellar with champagne bar & insanely delicious looking munchies.  We’ve sort of started a tradition of having a sophisticated, romantic NYE together–and while this is all sort of new to me, admittedly I love it.
I’ve started a bit on my New Year’s resolutions.  Or goals, whatever.  I’m good at keeping them but that is largely because a) I’m stubborn and b) I don’t set goals I know I won’t hold myself to.
So far:

• Run a 5K in a different state, NOT including Wisconsin or Indiana which are practically like running in Illinois anyway.
• Eat 2 servings of veggies a day (I realize 5 is the recommended amount, but again, I don’t set goals I can’t reach–if I make it above 2 per day, that’s just bonus!)
• PASS the PHR exam (I am registered to take it on January 29th, and originally I was going to type “take the PHR exam” but decided to think positive…besides, like the Bar or driving exam, I can retake it if I don’t pass the first time)
• Reconnect with my creative side, by drawing, writing or reading poetry on a more regular basis.  (this one is not very measurable and needs to be fleshed out a bit better)
• Be okay with not responding to invitations until the last minute , replying as maybe, and sometimes skipping events entirely without owing the host a reason why.  (I realize this one sounds selfish, but believe me, this is a selfish I need to get okay with for my own sanity)

I think 5 is a good number, don’t you?
Speaking of numbers, I will write a bit more about my thoughts on fitness for 2009 (because boy, I have a lot) but I just want to take a quiet moment to reflect, BEAMING, on the fact I lost 25 lbs this year, 5 more than I resolved to…whilst also overhauling my diet, completing two 5k’s, and being able to look in a mirror and truly be happy with what I see.  I gained a handful of pounds over Christmas, like EVERYONE is freaking SUPPOSED TO, and since I went in at a slight deficit I’m pretty much back to what I consider my standard weight now.  Yay.

I’m Home!

And I’m happy, really, but I’ve been home just over 12 hrs and I’m flooded with text messages, phone calls, and invitations…I’m racing around trying to find clean underwear before I leave the house in 30 minutes and I have a fruit fly infestation again.
I will catch up later but need to land a bit, and while I appreciate the love I need just like, a couple hours in my house, m’kay?
I leave you with this thought from the holidays–if I ever have kids, every single plastic tie will be removed from toys before wrapping.  Because oh my lord, the waiting is cruel to both the grown-ups and the child.

Yay

What a wonderful weekend I had.  Lots of time with friends, time with E., quiet time, party time…and much baking time.  My house smells like…um, bacon & chocolate chip cookies.  (I didn’t make them together)
I opened my first present of the season–a perfect Coach wristlet from H.  I watched a holiday movie, wept a little, had maybe a teeny bit of Tequila on Saturday night, saw some people I hadn’t seen in far too long, spent some real and overdue quality time with E. (and the kitties),  and oh boy did I spend a lot of time napping.  I discovered that I can make perfect bakery-style buttercream frosting and my first attempt at gingerbread cookies went quite well (note: I highly recommend silicone baking sheets for all your cookie needs).
Overall, I don’t think I could have asked for a much better or more relaxing weekend right before Christmas.
Happy holidays to me.

Why The Hate?

Something happened yesterday at work which really made me mad, and I can’t seem to let it go, however minor it was.  And really, it had nothing to do with work, it just happened to take place there.
I was talking about the fact I just got my little tree up and JOKINGLY mentioned that the kitties love the tree and I put it up partly for them.  Okay, really? I am not one of those pet owners that would do something like that just for the cats.  I was kind of being funny–it’s a fiber optic tree and their little eyes just glaze over when they watch it.   But immediately the two people I was talking to asked, “Just how many cats do you have?!?” 
Um, two.  I have two–they are sisters.
This was followed up with, “Well, even one cat is TOO many in my book!”
Look, I know, there are dog people and cat people.  While I preach that I love all animals equally, I admit that I slightly prefer cats because they poop inside, can be left alone for long periods of time, and don’t smell like “dog”.  I know some people don’t like cats for various reasons (although, the “I’m allergic” argument doesn’t really fly for me in terms of why you don’t LIKE cats…it’s not like they intentionally make themselves an allergen just for your special sake).  But I would never tell someone that ONE of whatever choice of pet they have is too many.
Can you imagine if I told someone who had kids that ONE kid is too many in my book?
I know it was just meant to be funny and a light conversation but I felt it was so rude and it really made me mad. (along with the question about how many I have…as if being a single female means I am Crazy Cat Lady with 13 cats crammed in my one bedroom apartment)
Speaking of things that make me mad, yeah, I am in the same boat as a lot of you when it comes to Oprah.  I think this country really needs a respected spokesperson to say, “We all need to eat better and exercise because we are killing ourselves with our unhealthy lifestyle”–and NOT have it be about weight or failure or failure tied to weight.  And body image…I know it is really hard for some people. I know that.  I know it was hard for me to make a major life change, and some day I will likely fall on my face and have to do this all over again (put the puppy on the paper, as Paul said–I love that analogy).  But I also get annoyed with the “acceptance of the fuller figure” that is becoming popular because sometimes…(SOMETIMES! Not in the case of my readers!) I think it is just an excuse to say, “I love my body, you should too, now I can be lazy and eat whatever I want. ”
Anyway, Oprah makes a big stink about her weight and doesn’t do anything to promote a healthy lifestyle.  When she does lose weight, it’s often on crash diets that contribute to her yo-yo-ing.   And like Tori, I can’t understand what the heck her thyroid had to do with anything.  Very rarely will a doctor tell you not to exercise because of a medical condition.
I would like to hear what Tyra has to say, though.

Dear Santa: I Have Been A Very Good Girl

One advantage or disadvantage, depending on how you want to look at it, of the fact I get more than just a little stressed this time of year (and with the economic downturn, worried even more than usual) is that I am probably one of the few people who is actually capable of LOSING weight over the holidays.
I gained not a pound after Thanksgiving, and I’ve lost a few extra pounds the last few weeks.  So I’m seriously at the lowest weight I’ve been at in a VERY LONG time.  Time to buy a really gorgeous dress for New Year’s!
I’ve not even been all that interested in chocolate which is just…crazy.  I sit in a cube that’s right behind the shelf where all of our gift baskets are landing.  One day I ate one small cookie and a couple chocolate covered peanuts and that’s all I was interested in.  Last week there was a bucket of chocolate covered pretzels in the break room, which I LOVE, and I only ate one.  Granted, by the time I actually got to them there was only one left, but still…
I mean, this is all great and I’m sure my trainer is very proud but I feel like I’m missing out on something.  How can I set ridiculous last minute goals in January to burn off all the fat I put on over the holidays?  What will become of all that homemade fudge floating around out there?  Who will drink all the peppermint mochas?? WHY DON’T I WANT ANY EGGNOG?!
Okay, I know some of you want to punch me because you’d love not to be tempted by the omnipresent holiday treats right now.  I just want to have one really big sweet and delicious gorge fest, and not feel so antsy that I don’t even feel like enjoying a sweet or two.  Tomorrow night H. and I are making gingerbread men and darnit if that doesn’t hopefully get my sweet tooth going.
On a related note, what’s your opinion on this hooplah  surrounding Oprah’s recent “embarrassment” about her weight? I have mixed feelings, but will reserve my own thoughts as I don’t want to taint your honest input.

One Sigh of Relief Down, One to Go…

The layoffs took place at E’s company today, and while some really good co-workers of his were released (suck) I am sooooo thrilled to report that E. survived with his job still in hand!
I can’t even tell you how relieved I am–you’d think it was my own job on the line.  I’m taking deep breaths and maybe weeping a little bit of happy tears.
As for myself…well, who knows.  Maybe there will be more to report after January 1.

Hitting the Fan

So, the time has come when this recession nonsense may, indeed, affect E. and me.  There are definite changes happening in both of our respective companies.  (In E.’s case, a cross-company layoff is supposed to be coming next week &  in my case, we don’t have enough work coming in 2009 to support a full staff) And, duh, I am worried.
I’m actually not all that worried about the money.  E. is very financially responsible and has taught me a lot in the time we’ve been together.  I’ve made some smart changes (I can make more) and I certainly won’t be struggling for food should I lose my job.  In my most panic-stricken moments, I worry that things will become so bad that I won’t find another job for well over a year.  But, the reality is 2 weeks or so off and I’d be out there doing temp work, so even if it’s not what I’m used to doing, it’s work.
What really upsets me is that we both like our jobs a lot.   And yeah, there is totally the chance that both of us will survive unscathed.  But at least in my case, that means that I may lose a teammate or two that I’ve worked with for 3 years now.  It makes me sad and angry.  I understand now some of the feelings and reactions of people I know who have lost their jobs recently.  You want to be angry at someone, but who?  You can’t blame the current President entirely.  Now I’m not defending G. Dub, but there is too much that goes into a huge economic swing like this to blame one person.  And I don’t feel like detailing it all out, I’m just saying I understand where the misdirected anger comes from.
This seems like a pretty glum post but believe it or not I’m feeling pretty okay today.  E. and I have the weekend ahead and we both need it.  In a couple weeks I’ll be going back to Ohio (hopefully–eesh!) for a relaxing Christmas with my family and a visit with an old friend.  I’m not taking Christmas gifts back at this point, that is nonsense.  I will enjoy what I have as long as I have it.

Reprieve*

I was having lunch with a fellow blogger today (Hi Kim!!!) and we were talking about how, despite the fact we subscribe to blogs and we know that birthdays are coming and going and jobs are being started and others are being lost and some people are sick and others are healthy…and we care, we really do, we just DON’T HAVE TIME right now to express that fairly to all parties concerned.  In comments or in our own posts.
My plan to only read/comment on the people on the “do or die” list isn’t even working anymore.  I’m reading on Blackberry in transit and it’s not easy to comment, especially if I am between network zones.  I AM reading–if you get a visit from Blackberry in Canada that’s me.

And I feel like Dr. Jekyl and Mrs. Wafelenbak from day to day, going from very positive and upbeat, to trying to hold it all together, to failing miserably at holding it all together and feeling guilty about it.  So my own desire to post is minimal because half the time it is whiny crap that no one (including me) wants to read, and the other half it’s just boring.
Thus, with my self-imposed blogger power, I decree that all residents of the PRB** are hereby excused from posting, commenting, reading, and getting their reader feeds below 200 from now until January 1 of 2009, with no guilt or consequences for actions referenced herein!

*This is an anti death penalty organization & the first result when you Google the word–did you know that?
**People’s Republic of Bloganistan–thanks to Hilly!

The Perfect Lunch

One of the things that has NOT been plaguing me or my fitness plan in light of the move downtown is food.  I had one day last week when I was bored and anxious and ate a small bag of potato chips, but that’s about the worst it’s gotten.  Luckily my little slice of cubeland is WAY far away from the vending machines (which has a pretty lousy selection anyway) so I’m only tempted by what I choose to keep in my desk drawer.  Generally that is boxes and boxes of tea, including Vanilla Caramel and Chocolate Orange which both do a lot to satiate my afternoon sweet tooth.  My fruit and low-fat cheese stays in the fridge and I have to make an effort to get to it since it’s pretty far away from my actual desk too.
Very close to my office is the Chase building, which has a most impressive cafeteria.  More like a food court, really.  And my favorite part is the salad bar, where you whip up your own salad and pay for it by the ounce.
This was a great discovery since my first couple weeks downtown I made the mistake of eating far too many 900 calorie salads offered by Corner Bakery and the like (I don’t know what slipped in my brain to make me forget that even with only a couple teaspoons of dressing, a salad is neither healthy nor lowfat if it still has walnuts and blue cheese).  The only problem is I’ve been known more than once to suffer from “eyes bigger than my stomach” syndrome and load up my salad with a veritable garden of veggies, plus grilled chicken, only to have it add it up to $13.00…and then I only eat 1/4 to 1/2 of it.
So today I struck the perfect balance.  Soup was chicken chili and I got a *small* salad with the lightest possible veggies (cucumbers vs. broccoli, shredded carrots vs. cauliflower) plus a bottle of water and a couple of whole wheat crackers for a scant $6.00.  I went in knowing what I wanted, and was done with lunch in half an hour (they have a website too, so in the morning when I come in I usually check the soup & specials of the day…I am a big dork, yes).  This is another reason I like going to the Chase cafeteria…if I’m not having a “social” lunch* I can pare it down and leave work a little earlier.  Which makes the errand running and gym going a bit easier since I’m able to get the train at 5:30 or so vs. 6 and my whole evening is then opened up an extra 30 minutes which really?  Can make a remarkably huge difference during the week.

 

*Which is not to say I don’t enjoy these–I do, and often they are a much needed break in the day!  I just have trouble sometimes switching out of work mode fast enough to be pleasant company at lunch time…

The Treadmill Has Landed

If anyone cares, I hate the new WordPress dashboard layout.  I said the same thing about our candidate database at work when it was upgraded. I think we just don’t like to adjust to change, ya know?
So a lot of people were asking me about the treadmill actually ARRIVING which is funny, I get busy with my day and just assume everyone knows what has transpired in my life in the interim.  Silly, huh?
It DID arrive, and the delivery men were very nice and very speedy and they put it together and it works!!  It also has wheels and folds up easily so I can fold it and move it all by my little self.  Hooray!
However, the delivery men left around 11am, at which time I had to shower, run out the door, get to the post office to mail my family’s Christmas packages*, wait in line for over an hour to ship said packages, run home so as not to miss a friend picking me up…then ran around until about 4pm, came home, put a necklace on and touched up my makeup, and then ran out the door again at 4:30 only to return at 10pm.   By then I was way too tired to even think about trying it out.
This does not bode well.  My workout schedule has been falling apart since I started working downtown, and I was hoping the treadmill in the house would help alleviate some of that.  Then the treadmill arrives and I don’t even have time to use it.  Blagh.
E. and I are going to the gym later today and I’ll be doing weight training.  Tomorrow I have to go to Macy’s after work to pick out an outfit for E.’s holiday office party* (one of the things I was trying to do yesterday, it didn’t go very well) and buy gift cards for our bosses on behalf of my team. (because I work in the office and also I am crazy so I take on these little extra tasks for myself)  Maybe I’ll get to try it out tomorrow evening provided my holiday outfit shopping doesn’t go late into the night…

*The holiday stress and rushing around is kicking in, as you can probably tell.  I did order a bunch of my remaining gifts online today just to save time.  I am hoping that being aware of the rushing and the self-imposed stress will help me keep it in check just a bit.
**Kohl’s had some really fabulous Vera Wang black satin pants that looked AWESOME on me, but they would need to be hemmed and I don’t think I can squeeze that in by Saturday.  However, I am thinking I should go ahead and order them online for another occasion because damn, they looked good!  Of course, they may not look good for long if I can’t find the time to get on my treadmill…