This Week

A friend and reader reminded me today that I haven’t given you guys any updates about the date.  So, here it is.  It’s Thursday night.
And I don’t want to give much more out because I’m starting to get paranoid.  We know enough of the same people that …I dunno, somebody somewhere may put two and two together.
I’ve gone the full range of emotions from excited to nervous to indifferent to bored.  Actually, today I am bored.  But I think that just comes from setting my expectations low.  I hope to have a nice time and good conversation and most of all to look good in the process.  We’ve been emailing back and forth a lot but that’s slowed a bit as the date approaches.  Which is a good thing, I think. Agh.  I hate this dating nonsense.
And  yes, I do have my outfit picked out.  I bought a black knit skirt with grey pinstriping, and I’m going to wear it with a grey v-neck sweater with a white cami underneath.  Plus black tights and OF COURSE the black knee high boots.  I need to remember to pack my makeup on Thursday morning because we are going out straight from work and god knows I don’t look the best at the end of the day.
Today is the first day I have felt actually HEALTHY in a week, and I did go to the gym last night (plan on doing yoga tonight, since I think I can bend upside down without the entire contents of my head spilling out my nose).  My left nostril feels like…this is gross, but it feels like it has a sore inside.  Which I suppose could be raw skin or something.  Anyway, that’s the only remaining piece of yuck from the whole nasty cold.  Man, that was a NASTY cold, and I am really perturbed that I was the only person in the office to get it.  I wish I had sneezed more on my co-workers last week or something.
Oh well.

Even Worse Blogger

Agh.  I’m sorry you guys, I am going to have to do a “mark all as read” for this week and start fresh next week.
I had a nasty headcold start up on Tuesday and it’s still in my nose, but thankfully much better. So most of this week I was coming home and going to bed (or to the couch).  Plus I had a ridiculous project for work that wasn’t terribly difficult, it was just a lot of work in Excel which is not my friend, and a lot of sifting through data which is not my forte’.  And there was construction in the office all week.  Even if I’d been well, my head would have been throbbing, so you can just imagine…
This weekend is pretty balanced, with some friend time and some down time. I am hoping to get my Christmas cards done and putter around as much as possible.  My main goal is to just try to get life back to normal…I haven’t exercised all week and I miss it!

Well Then

I have a date next week.

With the person of interest!

Day to be finalized, just wanted to share.

Also, I am absolutely terrified.

I guess I am going to see him before January! Way to call it, Kim!

Smitten Kitten

First things first–the Scrabble Tournament!  THANK YOU so much to those of you who donated and offered your moral support (and in H.’s case, the support of her snazzy pinstriped suit).  I have no pictures to show for the whole thing except for a drawing of a unicorn our first judge drew as an award for breaking 300 in the first round.  I’m going to try to scan that later today.
We went out  much earlier than last year on a tie, which in normal Scrabble rules would have gone in our favor.  Unfortunately, this was Scrabble for Cheaters, and the other team won by bribing the judge with more money.
Admittedly I was very disappointed with the outcome.  I think I would have handled it worlds better if we’d been decimated by a really good team.  But it was all bad board placement and ultimately, a stupid, stupid tie-breaking rule.
Oh well.  We still had a good time, and that’s what matters most.
I walked away saying I don’t want to do this again next year, but we all know that if P. is around and I’m around I’ll want to do it.
I am anxious to get the total tally of $$ raised (ours was $525), but I know people were throwing down $400 just to buy back into the game so I have a feeling it was some big bucks.  Which is great, that will buy a lot of books and writing equipment.  Yay!
In other news, I saw The Aforementioned Boy (maybe I will refer to him as Person of Interest?) for/after his show and I was NOT disappointed.  Nothing major happened–for a variety of reasons (he was expecting a friend from out of town who ultimately didn’t show, I had a friend with me) we didn’t go out for a drink or anything afterwards.  But he was super duper nice (I even got a hug!) and I have my first wee crush in awhile.
Which is really weird and difficult to navigate.  I felt like I was talking 100 miles an hour and probably came off like an idiot (luckily, I keep joking, I can always distract from my mouth with my pretty blue eyes–ha!).  On the surface I am all  “playing it cool, letting it takes its course, remember all the other guys that are out there” and whatnot, but on the inside I am bubbling up with the thought of seeing him next.  Which may not be until January, and that is probably for the best.  Still.  This would have been a lot easier if he’d been a flaming disappointment.
Oh well, the holidays are upon us, which means plenty to busy myself with until then.  Although today is a pajama pants day for me which seems to mean wrapping gifts at a snail’s pace and frequent nap breaks.

I Have Been a Bad Blogger

Alright, so, there’s the whole blocking at work thing, which has caused me to blog less and read less, or read and comment less.  Or all of the above.
However, Facebook has NOT been blocked and so I maaaaayyy be spending a little too much time there and not enough in the blogosphere in general.  I only have so much energy.
I’ve been reconnecting with a lot of my theatrical and creative friends in the past few weeks and it’s been really amazing.  It’s like a part of me was asleep for awhile (which is not to fault E., I stepped away from that whole circle for awhile, but admittedly he noticed that piece of me shriveling while we were together) and just woke up.  It’s been fun, and welcoming, and warm.
AND…

there’s a boy.
Okay, DON’T get too excited.  It’s a boy I sort of know from my theater days.  And we have a lot in common.  And we’ve been flirting alotalotalot on FB.  This weekend he has a show opening and I am going to see it.  And it might be nothing or it might be something and regardless it’s going to be fun.
So there’s that.
That’s where my head’s been, just FYI.
Also, last chance to donate to Scrabble for Cheaters!! It’s this Saturday as well, so as you can imagine, I’ve been a bit of a spaz this week.  My partner has the flu presently, but we are hoping he makes a full or at least 3/4 recovery by Saturday.  I want us walking out with those medals together, dammit.
Maybe I’ll wear it to the show that night.
My nerdliness is HAWT.

Thanksgiving Was Nice, Now I Must Rant

I’m sorry, it seems terribly inappropriate to come off the holiday and my first post is so full of venom.  If it makes things better, this has absolutely nothing to do with my Thanksgiving holiday.  My holiday was lovely.  I had some bad travel-related stomach issues per usual, but I survived.  And hey! I lost two pounds when everyone else was gaining!  Heh.
Okay, here’s the thing.  You all have listened to my “big dogs in the city” rant.  And I am not going to apologize any more to dog owners.  I don’t hate dogs, not even big ones, not even big scary ones.  But today I am FED. UP.
I was walking home from running some errands and had no less than THREE big dogs jump on me.  The first two were together, so I could not even get down the sidewalk, and of course they jumped, and of course the owner thought it was cute.  I did not think it was cute.  I do not know your dogs, I do not want your dogs jumping on me.
And then…
another owner’s seemingly cute dog lunged and growled at me.  And I lost it.  She laughed and said, “Oh, don’t worry, he won’t hurt you!”  You know what I really hate about irresponsible dog owners?  How they condescendingly act like YOU are the one with the problem for being concerned about their dog’s intentions.   No.  Just, no.
So I looked her square in the eye and I said, “You know what?  I don’t care.  I am just really sick of big dogs in this city.”
It was mean.  But it could have been a lot meaner.  And I meant it.  I am sick of them.  Even if your dog is the sweetest dog ever born, every irresponsible pet owner who lets their large dog lunge and growl at strangers has ruined it for you.  Like the bad kid who gets in trouble and everyone else can’t have recess.
I used to be terrified of dogs. I got over it.  It’s a good thing I am no longer terrified of dogs, because I probably would have really lost it.
And you know what?  I am writing to my Alderman because I am sick of this.

Thankful

No lie, I’ve been in a pretty rollercoaster emotional state the last 5 days.  And if you happen to catch yesterday’s post, which I deleted, you know that I was feeling an awful lot of sad as the holidays approach.
I took it down because 1) I don’t only want my blog to be about feeling sad, because I don’t feel sad every second of every day.  In fact, I was pretty much in a giggle fit at the end of the day today.  and 2) I feel like I have no business complaining when I have so much in my life that others don’t have.
That said, I am in a quieter, calmer place today and while I was finishing sweeping up the place a bit, slightly more unconventional “I’m thankful for’s” started popping into my head.  So here goes…
1) I am thankful for having good role models in my life.  Yes, this definitely includes my family, but a lot of other great people too.
2) I am thankful for my job.  Not just that I HAVE a job, but, minor annoyances aside, I have a job I enjoy going to every day.  I’m thankful that I actually look forward to going to work some days, and most days I leave feeling pretty darn accomplished.
3) I am thankful for YOU.  Whether we’ve ever met in person or not, your support has been amazing.  And I love reading your goods and your bads, your highs and your lows just as much–even if I don’t always comment.
4) I am thankful for finally learning how to eat healthfully and exercise.  Even if I don’t do it every day, I’m light years ahead of where I was before.
5)  I am thankful for the Hoover Floormate wet dry vac.  Especially at this moment.

And of course, it goes without saying that my friends, family, and fuzzy little kittenheads are the blessings I count daily.
I fly out tomorrow night.  If I don’t check in, everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

Crazy Presents Lady

Two other things that most people know about me as it relates to the holidays is that 1) I am anal about buying Christmas presents early and 2) I freaking love wrapping presents.  I actually take into consideration that I want to have at least one day before Christmas to wrap gifts at my parents’ house when I make my travel plans, and god forbid I should wrap presents the day of only to have them opened that evening.  OH NO, that cannot happen.
I was a little behind this year, but I can cheerfully say I only have 2 people left to buy for (everything is in twos today, huh?)–my mom, because my dad and I have to pow-wow and scheme about what to get her, and my cousin’s little boy because he is three and obsessed with Buzz Lightyear but already has everything Buzz Lightyear and frankly, I have an easier time shopping for girls anyway.
Now I am ready to commence wrapping.
Which is funny, because I was at CVS last week looking at the paper and the cards and thinking “I am so not ready to do any of this” and now suddenly I am.  Plus some of my little self-talk to get me out of the sad mindset is to focus on the things I DO enjoy about the holidays.  And the #1 winner is wrapping presents.
I should get a part time job at the department stores or the malls wrapping presents, but I don’t know if I could do it under pressure.
However, if you would like to send your presents my way, I will wrap them for you for free.

Holiday Cheer

There’s no doubt–the pending holidays have not helped my crummy mood.  Everyone knows by now I get stressed at the holidays.  And this year, the combination of having lost both of my grandparents in the past year, going through a major breakup, and probably spending my first NYE in awhile totally alone…PLUS the fact that most of the people I know are scaling back financially on gift giving this year…which doesn’t make me sad b/c of the lack of gifts, but rather, because some of my own family and most of my friends have just opted out of the gift giving because they are under such financial strain.  It all  makes me very, very sad.
HOWEVER, it is kind of a lot of overdramatic nonsense on my part because you know, I have my parents to go home to.  I have a job to keep going to.  And I am healthy as can be, physically and mentally.  And I can tell you from hopping around the blogosphere that is not the case for a LOT of people. 
I just wish for the holidays everyone could feel good. 
However, I started my holiday shopping for my cousin’s little ones, who are not worried about money or swine flu or job security.  It made me so happy.
THIS made me so happy. OMG, it’s a teeny tiny Stella McCartney trenchcoat. CUTENESS!

But, for a toddler that seems just a bit extreme, so I opted to buy Little Miss Lana this instead.  Also CUTE! And on sale!
So if the holidays can’t totally be about cheer in 2009, here’s hoping they can at least be about as much cute as possible.

Why Is It So Easy?

I’ve had this post tumbling around in my head for the past couple days, and now I’m in a bad mood* so this should be really good.
Twice this week I lamented to someone that I want to know why it (being this whole dating business) is so easy for other people.  And each time I said that, it was met with laughter and incredulity.   No, it is not easy, and no, I don’t know the nature of everyone’s relationships, and yes, with the divorce rate still so high I guess it really isn’t easy.  But still, I do feel like sometimes other people have had a much easier time finding Their One.**
Case in point:  how many people I know who met their s.o. in college, fell in love, got married, and in some cases started families.  Bam.  Easy peasy.  By the time they were 24, for the most part this nonsense was not even cause for concern.  WHY did that happen for some people and not me? Why am I still dealing with this dating crap at age 34?!
Alright, in fairness if I think about the guys I dated in college, I would absolutely not have wanted to marry a single one of them.  So maybe I didn’t know what I was doing, or maybe my path was different, blah blah.
But it’’s hard not to throw a temper tantrum and yell “It’s not fair!!!”
The other piece of this is that it SUCKS to be a person who has always worked hard, who was raised to work hard, and always got what they wanted out of life by working hard.  Well, guess what?  When it comes to finding Mr. Right, apparently that rule doesn’t apply.  For someone who functions very much in that mindset on a day to day basis, it’s really hard not to get frustrated.
Meh.
I’m just ranting.
But for those of you who found your s.o. so early in life?  I really do want to know why it was so easy.  Or if it was not easy, just make me feel better by telling me why.

*I had some crap news come down at work (don’t worry, I’m still employed) and I am fighting a headcold which seems to be at its epicenter right now, so all I want to do is spike some green tea with whiskey and crawl under the blankies.

**I don’t believe in THE one, or A one (except the steak sauce, heh) so whatever you would call The person for A person.